Impressions

Everyone we meet creates an impression on us - whether you meet them socially or in business. Their qualities and attitudes to things are, however, mostly internal and can't be seen. The impression they leave on us therefore is mostly governed by external appearances. Very simply, the impression they leave is either "good" or "bad".

Someone who leaves a good impression tends to be liked and respected.

Someone who leaves a bad impression tends to be disliked and distrusted.

The problem is that you form a mental set very quickly. Often on information that is misinterpreted.

The first 4 Minutes

Research indicates that 4 minutes is the time it takes to form an impression. And once formed, that impression is very difficult to change. After 4 minutes you will have made up your mind about that person and that initial impression will stay until you are proved wrong.

But of course YOU create an impression about yourself every time you meet someone for the first time - as will inevitably be the case at interview. If you start badly it is going to be an uphill battle all the way - all the messages are negative. If you start well - it is relatively plain-sailing, the messages are all positive.

When you meet face to face all sorts of parameters will be measured - consciously and subconciously... and you should be aware that others will appraise you at the level of your own self image: they will tend to agree with you about yourself." So if your self-image is low that is how you wll be seen.

• Your appearance / grooming. This will be noticed first. Dress appropriately - todays business environment is no longer suit and tie but even casual dress can and should be smart.
  
  
• The physical greeting. This has got to be genuine and not contrived. A firm handshake - not necessarily crushing grip - is vital. No limp or sweaty handshakes please!
  
  
• Your smile (or lack of). Can't be substituted by words. An engaging smile is one of the strongest communication forms.
  
  
• Your speech. Should be clear and measured. Avoid being loud - take your lead from the interviewer. Avoid mumbling!
  
  
• Your opening line. Should be short and direct. Perhaps you have been asked about your journey there or a comment on the  weather has been made. Try and think of possible topics - current news items for instance that could make for an initial opener. Reply calmly - then shut up!
  
  
• Your eye contact (or lack of). Like the smile, eye contact is one of the most potent forms of communication. And it doesn't lie! Make sure that you look the interviewer straight in the eye while initially shaking their hand and then maintain eye contact thorughout. Nobody is saying you have to stare-down your opposite number but lack of eye contact makes people look uncomfortable and as if they have something to hide.
  
  
• Your enthusiasm for the meeting. You're going for a job godammit. Be enthusiastic! If you can't be enthusiastic what are you doing there in the first place?
  

A lot of decisions are going to be made very quickly... Do I like this person? Do they like me? Can we form a lasting relationship? Is this going to be a worthwhile use of my time?

Body Language

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, currently Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, is  best known for his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal communication - otherwise known as the 55-38-7 rule. In other words...

• 55% of the message we convey to other people is conveyed through Body Language
  
  
• 38% is formed through the Tone of your voice
  
  
• 7% only - is conveyed through Words
  
  So... Body Language is an extremely powerful communicator!